At 13, My Mother Punished Me Over Suspicion of Having Affair with Her Partner – Kaffy

Popular Nigerian dancer and choreographer, Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, has shared a painful childhood memory that she says left a lasting impact on her life. Speaking on a recent episode of The Honest Bunch podcast, the Guinness World Record holder revealed that she once suffered harsh punishment from her mother, who accused her of being too close to one of her partners when she was just 13 years old.

Kaffy explained that after her parents’ divorce, her mother became involved with different men, many of whom she and her siblings accepted as father figures in an attempt to fill the emotional gap left by their absent dad. She recalled that they would often address these men as “daddies,” a bond that was innocent to them but one which sometimes stirred insecurity in their mother.

According to her, her mother began suspecting that she was developing inappropriate relationships with some of the men, a situation that led to one of the most traumatic incidents of her teenage years. Kaffy recounted that on one occasion, after she had tried to assist one of her mother’s partners when he injured himself, her mother misinterpreted the situation and, in anger, punished her severely in front of others.

“That had its own traumatising effect on the mind,” she explained. “You begin to ask yourself why your own mother would think such a thing of you. That kind of insecurity transfers from parent to child and it leaves its mark.”

The dancer said the experience was one of several difficult moments in her upbringing, and it contributed to the emotional battles she had to overcome as she grew older. However, she noted that instead of allowing the pain to define her negatively, it gave her the determination to break free from what she described as emotional abuse and blackmail.

Kaffy credited her resilience and willpower for helping her turn her struggles into strength, eventually building a successful career and life despite her childhood scars.