22nd May 2015, a week before swearing in. I wrote this sattire..Please read

A man goes to a function and sees a very beautiful elegant lady…he goes over and introduces himself to her and immediately makes his intention clear…he wants to marry her…she laughs and says sorry but I am already taken.

He refuses to take no for an answer and keeps pestering this lady for months…trying every trick in the book…he falls flat everytime…This dude refuses to give up…he says afterall she is a woman…they like to hear nice things if I keep trying eventually I will get her…one day she will be vulnerable and I shall take advantage and achieve my goal.

So this fine day she says to her man…honey my Mercedes is too old I have been diving this same car for years…I need a new car…her man says sweetheart I know you do…but I can not afford to buy you a new car right now..it is just not possible….she is annoyed…and starts to throw a tantrum…he tries to calm her down ans says…sweetie we have a few things to be thankful for…so let’s appreciate that and believe that as we go along…things will get better.

She is not impressed so she decides to call her toaster and see what he has on offer….they meet up and she bares it all and complains about her demands not being met…..he smiles and tells her not to worry…

He promises her a Bentley and a Mansion in Asokoro…a holiday apartment in Dubai…dinner in Monaco every weekend…a private jet to fly her around…

She is overwhelmed by these promises and decides that her current man is hopeless, stingy and in fact wicked…he obviously is CLUELESS about what it means to look after a woman of her standard. She decides to dump her man and follow the new catch…

The current man tries to beg her…promises that he is doing the best he can…admits he has failed in some areas and will try to do more but says that he is limited only to what time and money will allow him do….says when they first started he could not even afford to buy her a bicycle…at least now she has a car…confesses that he had hoped to do better but he failed some exams at work and so missed his promotion…and did not get a pay rise.

She tells him she has heard but she has made up her mind to leave….he CONCEDES

She packs her stuff and leaves…leaving behind even the Mercedes he bought for her…After all Bentley dey come….abi no be so?

As she is leaving…she is whistling a familiar song….Levels Don CHANGE o….he watches her leave and shakes his head.

As the wedding with the new groom approaches…the new groom says to her…honey I know I made you a lot of promises…However there has been a slight delay in some money I have been expecting…so you will have to be patient with me….

I dont even have a car to give you yet so you will have to take the bus or ride Okada till I am able to buy the Bentley…

She is shocked and asks but did you have the money to buy all these things the day you made the promise??

He asks for PATIENCE, and says to her that there is nothing that can be done about his promises right now…that rvem the wedding will be low key cos money nor dey…he suggests that they pray hard and hope things work out…

With just a week to the wedding day, she is confronted with a dilema…..it is too late to go back and manage her Mercedes and former man….but knows that that bridge is already burnt. So decides to stay putt and soldier on.

She has no option but to hope and pray that indeed things will get better… she is depressed so he surprises her with a car gift and says

Darling just manage this till the Bentley arrives…I can’t bear to see my beautiful wife entering public transport…

Is this The End???

Not at all…this is just the beginning….

TO BE CONTINUED

HOPE DEY!