Lessons from the grave, Mum and her zero inconvenience policy

When my mum was told she had cancer and had only a few weeks. She told my sister an I that she had already put all the necessary things in place for her burial so we would not need to spend a penny. She said “I don’t want you to be at the mercy on any family member or friend.”

She had paid for her final resting place at Vaults & Gardens & put funds aside for the entire funeral even to things as inconsequential as the clothes we would wear. She had insisted that she wanted to be buried in Nigeria so it meant her remians had to be flown back from the UK.

I could not understand this at the time. We were definitely not poor at this time and we could have afforded to bury her however she wanted. She was also very kind to so many so I was sure even if we struggled we would be okay with support from family and friends.

When she died, one friend came to see me that night and offered to foot all the bills. I hope you know she was my mother too and so anything that needs to be done I will do he said. He opened his wallet, showed me a catholic scapular my mum gave him when he visited her in London

Dude is not even catholic oo. But said he has had it in his wallet since then. And till this very day he still does 14/15 years later. This my bro kept asking me what was needed and I said to him shebi you know your mother was very organised she has paid and arranged everything.

Yet he still ended up paying big money into my account. Another bro of mine gave me his step mum’s SUV for my entire stay in Lagos…he went on an official trip abroad and refused to spend his allowance and gave it to me in Euros. Another took me drinks shopping.

One showed up in church as a surprise. 3 cousins flew in from America. So did my aunt. Friends came from Abuja on our gifted plane. My staff came too. People that really mattered showed up. In fact I was like my mum was worrying for nothing.

Everyone did all that they could

So I concluded that if we had to bury her ourselves we would have done it without needing anyone but even if we did people would have been more than happy to help.

Then it hit me….the real reason she did that was cos she did not to inconvenience a single soul even her family.